In this first (hopefully of many) article, I am going to tackle the hard hitting issue of who has the best moustache of the current AEW roster. This issue is one that has plagued AEW for a while, with rumours flying about backstage, arguments over who has the best, most luxurious moustache. Unfortunately these arguments have spilled over into social media such as when @andycomplains (The Butcher) tweeted the following:
So after intensive research and reviewing of hours worth of tapes with my partner, below is our results:
10. Pretty Peter Avalon
Whilst once the owner of a glorious moustache adorning his face all by itself, Pretty Peter Avalon abandoned the way of the solo tash and started to grow his beard in. He then shaved it all off to start again, while his fledgling moustache is growing we cant rank him higher then tenth.
9. Mark Davis
At the time of writing this article Davis is out injured, (Heal up quick and come save your boy dunkzilla). Because of this and the trust issue of wrestlers coming back repackaged, we are scared to put Mark Davis any higher on this list in case he comes back and betrays us with a full beard or, even worse, clean shaven!
8. Roderick Strong
Relatively new to the moustache game, Roderick has found himself decently placed after years of not placing because of disqualification by the clean shaven/beard rules of 1992. Roderick’s moustache has been able to play a variety of roles from a sympathetic fool to despicable devil adjacent bastard.
7. Dax Harwood
Dax has a glorious moustache, he has embraced the power of the moustache for a few years and his belief in its power has not wavered. It is well kept and adds to his look of a no nonsense southern wrestler that loves his family.
6. Nicholas Jackson 5. Matthew Jackson
On their return the Jackson brothers made a huge impact with their brand new facial look, sporting two cleanly shaved jaw lines allowing their moustaches to flourish independently. The pure iconic nature of their return and the shock waves they sent through social media places them seventh and six respectively, with Nicholas edging Matthew with a slightly fuller moustache.
Joint 4. Truth Magnum and Turbo Floyd
The youngest men on this list impressed us during our research, both sporting moustaches beyond their years. It is not often that rookie of the year rank so high in such prestigious list such as this one, but the pure power that comes from their moustaches is undeniable. We are being cowards and ranking them joint fourth because how can you possibly pick between these two?
2. Hangman Adam Page
Much like his elite brethren Hangman burst back onto the scene sporting new facial hair. As the weeks go by the glory that is Hangman’s moustache only seems to grow in its beauty, while scaring his other facial hairs into retreating week by week until it defeats them all. Normally, having a beard that connects to a moustache would disqualify an athlete from this list, but the shear power of Hangman’s moustache (displayed by how feral twitter and tumblr turned after its appearance) supersedes the rulings.
1. The Butcher
One of, if not the originator, of the moustache within AEW must take first place, because of the ground breaking work The Butcher has paved the way for other moustaches to be grown to their full glory. It is not only on longevity or being the first that has placed The Butcher first, his moustache is a total beast, that could take on any other moustache and win. While he has strayed from the path of the moustache he has never gone far and his current one is the best of them all!